Size Doesn’t Matter

Growing up, I figured I would probably get to 5’8 or so. Respectable size. Choice of small or medium shirt, depending on the tone I wanted to give off. Small: I’m tough/Medium: I’m tough, yet casual. Unfortunately for me, I’m done at 5’4. I don’t even hit the 5’4 mark on most rulers. It’s really my dad’s fault–he should’ve swallowed his pride and married a woman of equal/greater height. With my mom being 5’1 (and shrinking daily as she ages), I was invariably doomed from the start.

But really, being short isn’t bad at all. There’s just one thing I’ve yet to come to terms with: t-shirt sizes. You’ve surely noticed that XXL and above will run you an extra $2 when buying a run-of-the-mill t-shirt. But why the fuck should I pay the same as some fat motherfucker who needs a large? There is certainly a discrepancy in material used, perhaps as much as 45%. The whole world’s against me, and there’s nothing to do but give the deadbeat cashier tramp a scornful look as I watch my Hanes ring up at $5.99, while peering over to the next counter, where a 5’8 200 pounder, diabetes and heart disease affiliate, gets his XL for the same price.

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4 responses to “Size Doesn’t Matter

  1. I would think that the reason you pay the same amount is because the most expensive part of making the shirt is not the material, but the manufacturing process, which costs about the same for the small to xl sizes. xxl costs more because the difference in material between xl and xxl is alot greater than small to large.

  2. Yes, the manufacturing process is, of course, what you’re paying for in a 5 dollar t-shirt. But the difference in material between a S/XL and XL/XXL seems close to me. Plus, shipping XLs would be more costly than shipping Small T-shirts, due to the fact that there is more material and thus more weight. I don’t know man, this is truly one of life’s greatest mysteries.

  3. Yea, it is. We should stop funding aids research and try to figure this out.

  4. That’s what I’m talkin’ about. We need to get our priorities straight.

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